Lesson 3: Reach out and touch someone

Several years ago my partner, Joe, spent six months in a nursing home learning to walk again after a hemorrhage damaged the nerves in his spine and he became paralyzed from the waist down.  During this time we got to see how people exist in these homes.  The facility Joe was at had an incredible staff who took loving care of their residents, but it’s heartbreaking to see how families can forget these people and to see the spirit leave these people in their "golden" years.  Joe was lucky to leave and get well, but that’s not the case for most of the people we got to know.

Remembering what it was like, we often take Buddy and his little sister, Rosie, over to the convalescent hospital and spend time with the residents.  Buddy LOVES these trips; and when we get there, he pulls me to the front door.  Once inside he knows where the people spend their time and looks for an empty lap.  Once I make sure that the person Buddy is going to likes dogs, I let him approach the person. 

At that moment something miraculous happens to Buddy and to the person.  Buddy goes from this rather clumsy, very enthusiastic, very large animal to a dog that’s quiet as can be and as gentle as a lamb.  He sits as close as he can to each person’s wheelchair and just looks up into the face of the person he wants to share with.  Watching the face of this lucky recipient, so often their eyes go from withdrawn and lost, realize they’re gazing into the eyes of an angel disguised as a Golden Retriever, and their eyes light up, they smile; and if they can, they pet his head.  All the while Buddy just gazes up at them unwaveringly like they’re his best friend.  He stays still while they pet him; and if the person is too weak to reach his head, I’ll hold their hand and guide it to his fur and let them wriggle their fingers in his long hair. 

Most of the people are able to talk, and usually Buddy reminds them of one dog or another that were in their lives, and Buddy and I sit with them listening to the stories they share.  Buddy seems to hear each word.  The ones that can’t talk express themselves with their eyes, and for a few moments we silently share this joy of Buddy together.  They’ll look at Buddy, look at me and smile, look at Buddy again.  At some point it’s time to move onto another person, and Buddy makes his way down the dining hall and around the halls touching each person he meets.  He seems to know which people aren’t fond of dogs and moves on to someone who might welcome his attention.

When we’re done with our visit, we all head back outside where Buddy once again becomes a big goofball and life moves on.

Buddy teaches me that no matter where you are, look into the eyes of the people around you and let them know they are loved.